六九色堂

June 8, 2020

Get help for dealing with COVID-19 grief and loss, great and small

Knowledge Engagement Conversation June 11 with UCalgary expert Heather Boynton will explore coping techniques and how to get support
Heather Boynton
Heather Boynton

If you鈥檝e had a hard time getting going during the ongoing pandemic, you鈥檙e not alone. Many have reported feeling unmotivated and listless as they struggle to deal with the fallout of the global pandemic. Part of it, suggests Dr. PhD, assistant professor in the Faculty of Social Work at the 六九色堂, is a predictable consequence of coping with grief and loss.

鈥淲e think we鈥檙e dealing with it,鈥 says Dr. Boynton, 鈥渂ut it鈥檚 still under the surface. And so people are feeling tired, they鈥檙e having trouble concentrating. They may be feeling body aches and pains and muscle tension that they didn鈥檛 notice before. They might be feeling lost and empty or lethargic, or that there鈥檚 just a void 鈥 that joi du vivre is missing. And other things like impatience, irritability, and anger 鈥 these are all symptoms of grief and loss that people aren't really paying attention to.鈥

On June 11, from 10:30 to 11 a.m., Boynton will lead a Knowledge Engagement conversation that offers . The digital forum is free and open to those who want to learn and share their own experiences.听This event is being hosted by the newly formed听听in Research Services, a unit specializing in knowledge mobilization and supporting partnerships for research with impact.

Many types of loss

Boynton will address the significant losses that people may have suffered during the pandemic, such as the grief of losing a loved one, and the associated communal grief of not being able to mark their passing with rituals and social gathering. She鈥檒l also look at other serious losses such as the loss of a job or a home. In peeling back the 鈥渓ayers of grief and loss,鈥 she鈥檒l consider those smaller individual and shared losses that most of us are feeling.

鈥淚鈥檓 also going to talk about some of the simple losses,鈥 says Boynton. 鈥淔or example, my husband does the grocery shopping and I keep putting Bagel Crisps on the list because I haven鈥檛 had them in months. And he says, 鈥榊ou need to let go of the Bagel Crisps. They are not in the store.鈥 So there's a sense of disappointment around things like that, and then the sense of loss, and isolation causes more sense of loss.鈥

Putting your worldview back together

As a social worker, Boynton takes a holistic approach to helping people deal with grief and loss. She often works with them to make sense of their experience and to integrate it into a new way of viewing the world. She says most people begin with a 鈥渟table and safe鈥 benevolent worldview. When they suffer loss, this worldview is shattered.

鈥淪o it鈥檚 how do you put those pieces back together in a new coherent way that鈥檚 going to make sense for the person,鈥 says Boynton, 鈥渋ntegrating that narrative into a new way of viewing the world.鈥

Creating a renewed worldview requires making meaning and Boynton says that a good place to start is to focus on the things that bring you joy. That you鈥檙e passionate about. To take stock of the things that are important to you.

鈥淪pend more time doing the things that can bring you a little bit more joy and satisfaction and improve your mental health,鈥 she says. 鈥淥f course, if those things aren鈥檛 working, then you shouldn鈥檛 hesitate to reach out for support. Talk with someone about what鈥檚 going on.鈥

Finally, Boynton says one of the most important things you can do during a time like this is give yourself a break and focus on self-compassion and gratitude.

鈥淚t鈥檚 OK if you鈥檙e not doing OK,鈥 she says. 鈥淚f I say, 鈥楬ow are you doing?鈥 How often do you say, 鈥業鈥檓 doing really crappy, Thanks for asking.鈥 Right? So begin by asking yourself that question, 鈥楬ow am I doing?鈥 It鈥檚 OK to not be doing well. It鈥檚 OK to be in that place. Then just focus on being grateful for the simple things in life.鈥

About the Campus Mental Health Strategy

At UCalgary we continue to offer mental health support for students, faculty and staff with remote services. If you are experiencing significant stress related to your mental health during COVID-19, seek support 鈥斕齰isit our听听web page for a list of resources and supports.

UCalgary resources on COVID-19

For the most up-to-date information about the 六九色堂's response to the spread of COVID-19, visit the听